I have never lived a day without a computer. I am probably
one of the oldest people who can say that (and yes, I’m only 30), and I feel
pretty spoiled saying it, but I’m saying it to make a deeper point. Our very
first family computer was an Apple IIe Plus. That was back when Apple was cool
before it was not cool before it became the coolest thing ever. That’s
societally speaking. My personal views of Apple are not necessary to the larger point.
That original computer had no hard drive on which to add
information. None. There was absolutely no way to store information on the
computer. (As I have mentioned before, my memory is terrible. I could be
totally wrong about this, and if I am, I apologize.) The only way to store
information was on a floppy disk. They were called that because they were
actually floppy. I do not remember how much information they held, but it was
around 1-2 megabytes, I think. The little floppy disks, which were no longer
floppy, held around 3 megabytes, if I remember correctly, and they appeared
shortly after the original floppy disks. Today, you can buy a thumb drive that
holds 128 gigabytes. I am terrible at math, but I can feel pretty confident
that is a lot more than 3 megabytes.
And hard drives? They are measured in terabytes. I did not even know tera was a
measurable unit until those hard drives came out.
And hard drive storage is not the only exponential increase.
Gmail changed the face of email when it started offering 1gigabyte of storage
with a free account. That was around 2004. Today, I am using 3 gigabytes of my
10.1 gigabyte account. That is a lot of emails, even if they have attachments.
I am not a computer scientist, and hard drives rarely have anything to do with
yoga, so what is the point?
We hold onto
stuff. We hold onto a lot of stuff, even when we do not realize we are doing it.
We keep making more and more space to hold onto more and more stuff. I
like to tell people that one of the things I like about moving so much is that
I get to clean out my stuff once in awhile. But the truth is that
electronically, I hold onto everything. Now that we can hold onto these items,
we never have to let go. We can look through old emails and remind ourselves of
our “justified” anger at someone about something that happened years ago. We can also look through old documents and photos to
remind us where we have been. But all this space leaves us little incentive to
delete items that no longer serve us.
And that’s energy. That’s energy we could let go but instead
hold, even if we do not see it. It is the same energy we store in our bodies
when we do not let go of that which no longer serves us. As we get more and
more used to never letting go, our bodies think it is normal and continue to
hold old energies. And our bodies can hold a lot more information than a terabyte or two (however much that actually is).
These held energies do to us just what junk does to a hard
drive. They create clutter. And clutter creates heaviness and pain. Pain and disease
are often a result of stuck energy. When prana, the life force, does not freely
flow through us, it creates pain. That pain can be a sore neck from jutting the
neck out while looking at a computer screen, or it can be years of pent up
emotions getting stuck in the hips until we have sciatica.
Clutter also creates confusion. When there is clutter in our
energies, it is more difficult to think clearly. It is more difficult to
respond rather than react. It is more difficult to be creative and
innovative. We have to clear out these old patterns in order to make space for
something new.
And yes, this is where yoga can help. Yoga gives us the
opportunity to tune into our bodies and minds and let go of the clutter. It
also gives us a chance to see what and where we have held our energies. When we
sit in meditation, we can watch our thoughts race by and just let them be. When
we let them come and go without getting caught up in them, over time, it
becomes easier just to let them arise and then disappear. When we tune into the
pain and stuck energy in our bodies, over time, we can learn to breathe into
it, soften into it, and let it start moving again. Eventually, the pain begins
to dissipate.
But this does not happen overnight. We are hardwiring
ourselves to hold onto energy, to hold onto clutter. We are creating samskaras of holding energy. As our hard drives get
bigger, and we take less time in quiet solitude, we create holding patterns
rather than releasing patterns. These patterns are difficult to break. But it
can be done. And over time, releasing these patterns, and releasing these
energies can only open us up to bigger opportunities going forward.
This does not mean I am deleting my hard drive. But I may
start deleting more emails. I also may start deleting the photos I do not like.
Just because I can save them does not
mean I should. But most importantly, it is time to notice the holding patterns within ourselves. How does our excessive ability to never let go inhibit our ability to let go of that which no longer serves us?
How do you notice yourself holding onto energy? What do you
do to release it?
Namaste!
©
Rebecca Stahl 2012, all rights reserved.
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