I have been reading a lot of Lissa Rankin’s writing
recently. You may remember me discussing her before. She is the one who wrote Mind Over Medicine, the book I wrote
about back in June (has it really been that long?).
Her most recent writing to inspire me is a blog post called,
“A Call for
Greater Compassion.” Read it. You will thank me. Her main point is that we
all have our faults, we all have our sins, and that is what makes us able to
share our compassion with each other. She even asks, “Who are we to judge?” And
she ends with a challenge:
Think of one person you’re judging
today, one person who isn’t living up to your standards, one person who is
disappointing you or doing something you don’t like. Would it be possible for
you to tune into the part of that person that is hurting? Can you see that part
as a little child who just needs love? Can you open your heart to that little
child and reach out to that person with that kind of love?
It is not an easy challenge, for sure. We live in a world
where we are taught to judge, even if we are not lawyers. At some level it is
biological – we need to be able to tell safety from danger if we are going to
survive as a species. But the judgment she discusses, and I think is the bigger
issue, is the judgment we place on our fellow human beings for being human, for
struggling with life, for making mistakes.
I notice this most in myself when I’m driving. When people
do things I am not expecting on the road, I get really riled up. If they slow
down to turn without a signal, cut me off, or anything really that does not fit
with my ideal of how they should be driving in that moment, I freak out. Guess
what? I do all of those things as well. Probably more than I would like to
admit, in fact.
This sort of judgment does not serve us at all. But even
that judgment can leave us quickly. It is judgment almost more at a situation
than at an individual person. After all, we rarely know who cuts us off in
traffic, and short of breaking into serious road rage, none of us then go
discover their identity. But what about when we judge our friends for their choice
in partner, or we judge our parents for how they eat, or we judge our neighbors
for struggling with drug addiction, or we judge our soldiers for their mental
health issues? What happens to these people when we judge instead of offer
compassion? The best-case scenario is we lose someone close to us. The
worst-case scenario is that we end up with something similar to the shooting
this week at Ft. Hood.
And yet, lawyers are asked to judge all day, every day. It
is, literally, in the job description (whether or not you are actually a
judge). And think of the people the law judges – rapists, murderers, child
molesters and abusers, and thieves. But as odd as it sounds in modern America,
these are the people who need our compassion the most. And so do their victims.
In parts of the world, the rape victim is the one put to death while the rapist
walks free. I think I can say this pretty freely – that does not fit within
this picture of compassion either. But I think I have more people on my side
for that one. What about the perpetrators of these horrific crimes? Can we find
compassion for them while still finding a way to keep other members of society
safe from their actions?
When I was a camp counselor, we were taught two things that
have stayed with me for the past 17 years: 1) we do not punish, only
discipline, and 2) the child is not bad, only their actions are a problem. While
my camp did not use the word compassion, we did talk about respect and caring.
I have carried these ideas with me, and I try every day to separate the person
from the person’s actions. After all, I work with the children who usually love
their parents regardless of what they did to them.
But there are days when it is really difficult. There are
days the lies become too much, the pain the children face becomes too much, and
it is just easier to judge. After all, that is our learned response from a
young age. But my yogi heart knows differently. My yogi heart says to ask the
questions Dr. Rankin suggests. One day in particular I vividly remember
offering compassion to someone who was screaming at me. It was not the first
time he did it. The next day he wrote me an email apologizing for his actions.
My compassion toward him was silent, but it worked. Never before had he written
such an email.
There is no question the legal system is leaps and bounds ahead
in terms of compassion than where we were even 20 years ago. We talk about
rehabilitative courts, and we utilize alternative dispute resolution where
available. We offer people services to help them on their way. But we still
have so far to go. The big step, the really difficult step, is changing the
attitudes of those of us who work there. The big step is changing the attitudes
of society from judgment to compassion.
So, my fellow lawyers, can we find compassion in the law?
Can we bring a lens of compassion to our work and still protect society from
actions that harm? I had a conversation today with someone whose initial
response to my discussion of being a lawyer was saying that the law teaches us
not to be compassionate. I disagree. I believe we can do both, and I know so
many people who do so on a daily basis. But can we do it all the time? Can we
take judgment out of the picture? Can we come to the law with compassion for
the people who sit across from us? Are you willing to take Dr. Rankin's challenge?
Namaste!
©
Rebecca Stahl 2014, all rights reserved.
The
post, Compassion in the Law, first
appeared on Is Yoga Legal.
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