Starting Fresh for Forgiveness

When I was a child, I was forced to miss school twice a year when my non-Jewish friends went to school (unless, of course, the holidays fell on weekends). And yes, even in elementary school, I hated missing school. Think what you want about me, I can take it. Those two days were Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. Rosh Hashanah literally means the head of the year. It’s the new year for Jews. Yom Kippur is the day of atonement, the day we ask for forgiveness for all we have done "wrong" during the year.

As a child, I dutifully went to synagogue every year. Ok, usually I was dragged by my parents, but still, I went. I cared almost nothing about the holidays. Ironically, over the years I have stopped taking these days off from work, but they have begun to mean a lot more to me. I will be working all day today, and I will not be going to services, but the new year has me thinking, especially as it is tied to the day of atonement.

On December 31, everyone talks about resolutions. These are thoughts and ideas about how we are going to better ourselves going forward. It is a very personal endeavor, rarely focused on our place in the world. But the Jewish holidays being together like this are really something different. And it is my yoga practice that has connected me to this difference. The act of asking forgiveness is difficult. Instead of asking us to take a look at what we may like to change about ourselves and then heading out to a party, asking forgiveness requires us to take a look at how our being affects others around us. Some years this is easier than others.

Yoga, similarly, asks us to look at how our actions affect others. The Yamas and Niyamas, the first two limbs of the 8-limb yoga path, are rules for living. The yamas, specifically, address our interactions with others. They are: ahimsa (non-violence), Satya (truthfulness), Asteya (non-stealing), Brachmacharya (just read the link – no succinct explanation), and Aparigraha (non-grasping). As a kid, all I heard was the need to ask for forgiveness for anything I had done to hurt another. A noble endeavor, for sure, but a little tough to grasp at times. Yoga has given me the tools to self reflect enough to examine what that truly means and to reach out with specificity to those I have hurt.

The days between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur are, in some ways, somber. They are days of reflection, days of meditation, days to think long and hard about how our past year has gone. But first, we recognize the new year! There is something beautiful in the order. Before stepping into that somber world, we remember that no matter what we have done in the past, we can start fresh and renew. This is a new year, and the period of reflection is truly a chance to determine where we need to ask for forgiveness and a chance to move forward from that. 

It is also a chance to forgive others. The new year is a reminder that whatever they may have done to us in the past can be changed going forward. That is a refreshing thought. We need not hold on, another yoga lesson that is sometimes easier said than done. The time on the mat is a chance to reflect. It is a chance to turn inward and notice all the subtle ways we have missed the mark on where we wanted to be. 

But it is also the opportunity to let go, to see all that is new in the world. It is a chance to open our hearts to the possibilities of the year ahead remembering that we may make mistakes along the way, but also remembering that we can both forgive and ask forgiveness. We can also learn to preempt the need. We can set an intention to refrain from sending the nasty email (asking for a tone check from a friend helps). We can refrain from making disingenuous remarks about others. We can refrain from reacting through anger rather than thoughtful reflection.

What I have come to love about the Jewish New Year is that, like a yoga practice, it is both deeply personal and community oriented. The reflection is deep, but the need to engage others through forgiveness brings us together. It is somber reflection but also a chance to come together and celebrate the newness, not only of the new year, but also of the clean slate produced through forgiveness.  

I may be at work today, but these are the lessons my yoga practice has taught me about all those days I had to miss school as a kid!

And don’t forget the apples and honey! May your year be sweet and full of peace, light, and love.

Namaste!

© Rebecca Stahl 2012, all rights reserved. 

Styles and Practice Areas and Soapboxes!

When I started this blog, I was looking to see if there are ways that yoga and the legal profession overlap. It has, of course, grown into looking at the intersection of yoga and modern life, in all its varieties. One area I have missed, and where yoga and the law can teach us so much, is in our choice of what type we do; there is something for everyone, and we each have our own paths. Yoga has different styles while the legal profession has practice areas, and our choice of these is a great look at our paths in life.

I think the most common question I get asked when I tell people both that I practice and teach yoga is, “do you do that hot yoga, what’s it called?” The answer, my friends, is Bikram (there are other types of hot yoga, but that is usually where the question originates), and no, I do not. The reasons are plentiful, but most of them do not matter to this post (but if we have met in person, and you have asked me this question, you have seen me on my soap box). The easiest, and most PC answer, is that Bikram is not for me. It is simply not my path.

The types of yoga are plentiful, and I could write a book on all of them, as many people already have. Instead, here is a brief overview: Yoga can reference anything from ancient Hindu tradition / religion to modern asana-based mega classes. Asana practices can range from restorative, where you use lots of props, do not get off the floor, and hold poses for 3-5 minutes to Ashtanga, where there are set series, and you work with a teacher and do not move into learning the next posture until you have “mastered” the one you are currently doing. Some styles of yoga are strict about anatomy, e.g., Iyengar and Anusara, and some focus on the internal awareness, e.g., Anusara again. Then, of course, there is the rest of yoga, the yamas, the niyamas, pranayama (breath), and all forms of meditation. See what I mean? Books! And yet, so many people, including those who do yoga, think that yoga is limited to a few different types.

But of course, lawyers are no different. I cannot tell you how many times someone has asked me for help in areas of law with which I have no, and I mean no, experience. Tax law? Torts? New Zealand tenant’s rights? I am dreading the day someone asks me about criminal law, but at least with that, I have friends who work for the Public Defender and the County Attorney. People assume that because I can put esquire after my name, I must know everything there is to know about all law, everywhere. Any doctors have this problem? Accountants? You get the idea; we often think that one word can define someone when in reality that one word opens up a huge can of . . . possibility!

Once clearing up the fact that I do not have the answer to every type of legal question on the planet, I then must answer the dreaded question – well what kind of law do you practice? The answer, my friends, is family law. The other answer is juvenile dependency law, also known as welfare. In other words, I do that “emotional” law.

If I had 5 cents for every time someone reacted to my choice of profession with, “but how do you do that? It must be so difficult,” or “I could never do that kind of law!”, I would be able to pay off my loans. In other words, people assume all sorts of things about me based upon my choice of profession, and then within the profession, based upon my choice of field.

I used to be a percussionist, and I would joke that I could tell you someone’s personality based upon their gender and their instrument. But maybe that is not so crazy; different paths in music exist just like different paths in everything, and certain types work for some and not others. We choose particular paths because they work for us. Thus, my reaction to Bikram is just that, a guttural reaction; it is not a tempered response because it is so against my needs from yoga. But I know people who love it. For me, sometimes I need a restorative class, and sometimes I need a flow class. I happen to love family law and working with children. To others, that work is insane.

Law and yoga, therefore, offer something for everyone. They are great teachers by showing us that we all have our own paths in life, and someone needs to fill all of them. The Dalai Lama is the first person to say that not everyone could, or even should, follow his path. We all must find our own. And if it is not glaringly obvious by now, of course that means external to the law and yoga as well. That is why this blog is about so much more than just yoga and law, but they have informed my life in such wonderful ways, and I think they are great examples of the rest of life.

The law, yoga, and life are not one-size-fits-all. They are huge paths, full of opportunities to be rearranged and created into our own unique circumstances. So, I might think Bikram is crazy, but that’s because it does not work for me. You might think that family law is crazy, but that is because it does not work for you. That is not okay . . . It is wonderful, and it is what makes the world such a wonderful and interesting place.

We can choose to judge others for their choices, or we can be grateful that they are doing the work instead of us, allowing space for us to do our own work. That, my friends, is my new soap box!

And look, I found one in a small town in New Zealand. Who would have thought?

What is your path?

Namaste!

© 2011 Rebecca Stahl, all rights reserved

So what comes next?

So, we come to the end of the niyamas with Ishvara Pranidhana - self surrender, or surrender to the Divine. TKV Desikachar, in Heart of Yoga, defines it as "[p]aying more attention to the spirit in which we act and looking less to the results our actions may bring us." When we bring the intention of the yamas and niyamas to our actions, from ahimsa (nonviolence), Satya (truthfulness), Asteya (nonstealing), Bramacharya (dedication to the path), Aparigraha (nongrasping), Saucha (Purity), Santosha (contentment), Tapas (austerity), all the way to Svadhyaya (self-study), we can let go and surrender to the Divine, the Universe, the knowing that life will work itself out. How fitting that I write about this today (of course).

Last week, we finished our yoga teacher training program. I have no teaching gigs lined up, but boy do I have some ideas about starting my own yoga-lawyer business! I am still waiting to hear about whether I will receive the Fulbright (though I should know soon), so I have no idea whether I will be spending 10 months in New Zealand studying family law. No matter what happens, I'm not positive what I will do in August when my current job ends. For the first time in my life, however, I know life will work out. I will find a way to teach yoga to lawyers, then expand it to other professionals who need yoga for the physical benefits, but far more for its other benefits. I will find work. Life has a way of working out when we bring the right intentions to it.  For example, I have witnessed people in my life who hoard money and end up losing it all. I have watched people give and give, only to continue receiving. Just like dogs can smell fear, I think that people can as well, and those who want to prey on others "smell" that fear and take advantage. Our intentions in life are, therefore, guiding the outcomes that we cannot control.

Therefore Ishvara Pranidhana is the pinnacle of the first two limbs of yoga, the yamas and niyamas. It is what we can do once our intentions are set by living the other nine yamas and niyamas. Of course, it is no easier than the others, as we have previously explored them. It is scary, really scary. Society, especially for lawyers, teaches us that we should be in control. Or we go to the other extreme and just follow along, without really understanding why. That is "safer" than the surrender described by Ishvara Pranidhana, but it does not help us live our lives to the fullest. Following others is easy, and it is safe like sitting on your couch all day, never getting up for fear of what the world holds. Yoga, once again, guides us to the balance between the two and provides the stepping stones for how to reach it.

With Ishvara Pranidhana there is the intention created by the yama and niyama steps before the surrender. We give each situation our best and let go of the outcome. In other words, we are here for the journey, not the destination. The destination will be what it is, and whatever that is, it is perfect. As I have said many times, the universe has a funny way of working out. It's pretty easy to see how this relates to lawyers and other professionals. When we do our best, bring our best selves to our work, the outcome will be what it needs to be. This allows us to let go of whether we win or lose a case, and helps us to see the best outcome for everyone. Perhaps it is not worth spending $100,000 in attorney's fees to get a $20,000 jury verdict. When we are only outcome-oriented, we might miss that, but when we focus on our intention in each action, we can rest assured that the correct outcome will become apparent to us.

So, with this, I surrender to the universe . . . at least for today. Each day is a new struggle, not only to have the intention with our actions, but to trust that life will work out. It goes back to the age-old question - do we have free will? I think this helps answer it - yes and no. We have the free will to bring the right intentions to our actions, to our lives, but we simply cannot control for every variable, and there is some deeper energy that helps guide the outcomes of our actions. Of course, if you just sit on your couch, you are going to get a very different outcome than if you go out into the world and do what brings you to your highest self. Once you are there, how can you go wrong, right? (If only it were always that easy!)

I have no idea what these next few months hold for me, but I appreciate all of you who have helped me find my way here. I can honestly say that I am excited no matter what happens, and I hope to continue sharing about the yoga-lawyer-modern world connection with so many of you. May our interactions help guide us all to our highest selves and our best intentions and may we surrender our need for a particular outcome.

Blessings and Namaste!

Svadhyaya: Tree Pose around the world

I just got back from Rocky Point, Mexico with a bunch of people from the yoga teacher training program. My class ended on Thursday, and Friday we left for Mexico. The second-to-last niyama, svadhyaya, which translates to self-study in English, has been a major focus of the YTT program, and this trip helped shed new light on it for me. In yoga, svadhyaya is one step before self surrender or surrender to the Divine. In law, self study is where we do all the prep work before walking into a hearing, a trial, a meeting, etc. and using that knowledge to be our best. For all of us, self study helps prepare us for whatever life throws our way. For me, the new understanding begins with vrksasana, tree pose, on a beach. 

I have decided that my business cards need to feature me doing tree pose in a suit. I want to show that yoga can be done anywhere, by anyone. Why tree pose? Well, I have a confession - it's my favorite. I know, I know, we are not supposed to have favorite postures, but I do. I love trees, love them. When people from CA move to AZ, they often say they miss the water. Me? I miss the trees. My favorite thing about MI in college was watching the trees turn colors, seeing and feeling the trees around me. This weekend by the water was awesome, but my heart belongs to trees. In yoga, tree pose symbolizes more than just a tree for me. It is a balance posture; it requires a balance between strength and flexibility; it symbolizes the balance between our connection to the Earth and our connection to the heavens as we reach up. And it can be done anywhere, even in a suit. But I digress . . . 

What does tree pose have to do with self study? On this trip to Mexico, everything! We did yoga on the beach, during the day and at night. There were people around, and sure, it was much different in the sand than on a sticky mat, but we did it. Then a friend and I got stuck at the border, for over an hour. Antsy and annoyed, she suggested we do yoga. Yep, right there in the street! It was awesome. I felt so much better afterward, and I had a blast doing it. I got another picture in tree pose. My friend came up with a great idea; I'm going to document my yoga through tree pose, wherever I am, whatever I am doing, just be a tree! Find that balance, that connection, everywhere. See how it feels in all sorts of situations. 

Doing yoga is much simpler on a mat or in an ashram. There are few distractions, and the set-up works. These are great places to learn how to do yoga, to learn to look inside, to start to find our balance, to become yogis. But all that study, including the self study, needs to leave the mat. I came to yoga to find some peace of mind one summer when my life looked like it was falling apart. Yoga started for me as a personal journey of discovery - how could I break free of all those restrictions? Yesterday, I was doing yoga in the middle of a street in Mexico! The day before I was doing yoga on a beach! All these years have helped me find that ease and peace in these situations. I try to live a yogic lifestyle, and I do asanas wherever I am, even walking down the hall at work (I'm working on doing tree in the hallway, but I'm not yet brave enough). And each of these moments is another way to study ourselves. We see our limitations, we break through some, and continue to work on others. But the more we turn inward, the more we practice, the easier it is to just live it. Not easy, but easier. Sure, the waves come in and knock us down, but we get better at getting back up and holding our own the next time.

What does tree pose at the border have to do with lawyers? Lawyers, as much as anyone, need to be able to go with the flow. At a moment's notice (or ruling) a case can change. A new piece of evidence can appear, and everything changes. The more solid the foundation, the less traumatic these new situations are. The more we have studied the case and the more confidence we have in ourselves, the easier it is to adjust when things change immediately. This does not, of course, apply only to lawyers. Whoever we are, the more we truly understand and can tap into our deepest selves, the better able we are to adapt to our new surroundings. It's a lot easier to do downward facing dog in the sand when you have done it 1000 times on a sticky mat. It's a lot easier to handle life's adventures when you know what life is like without them.

Sometimes we falter in these new situations, and that is okay, but sometimes you get sheer beauty . . .

May your own self study guide you through the waves of life.  

Namaste and Blessings!

Tapas

As much as I love little appetizer plates at Spanish restaurants, this post is not about them. Tapas, the third niyama, translates into many words in English: austerity, self-discipline, burning desire, motivation, and dedication. Ironically, this post has been one of the most difficult for me to write. I have been busy, again, but I have also been unsure how to put these thoughts on here. Over these past couple of weeks, my dedication to self has faltered, and it seemed a bit hypocritical to write about motivation and dedication when I felt so flat. But then I got back on the mat, I got back into work, and I got back into life. I got some tapas back.

I cannot think of a more salient teaching for lawyers. For all the drama displayed on television, being a lawyer is a self-motivated, and often lonely, profession. Being a lawyer can can mean being holed up in an office, working on files for people you see rarely, finding law on the internet, and digging through mountains of documents to find one that just might be relevant. From studying in law school to preparing for trial, being a lawyer takes self motivation.

But tapas is about more than self motivation and dedication. The word itself comes from the sanskrit tap, meaning fire or heat. Through our dedication, even austerity, we are motivated to turn inward and improve ourselves. Tapas is the niyama before self study, swadyhaya, so it prepares us to enter self study. We must have the dedication to get to that point. At first glance, motivation and austerity seem to be polar opposites. Austerity is defined as the state of being austere, which has several arguably gloomy definitions of its own: 1) "stern and cold in appearance or manner," 2) "morally strict," 3) "markedly simple or unadorned," and 4) "giving little or no scope for pleasure." (All references to the Merriam Webster Dictionary online.) But this is the problem with translation. Tapas means all these things because it reminds us that we may feel like we are giving something up, but in the end we are (hopefully) gaining from it. While austerity can have this negative connotation, it is really about clearing and freeing. We can live in this crazy world when we clear our clutter and concentrate on what really matters.

It can be really hard some days to remain motivated for yoga, to constantly come back to the mat, to the breath. There are days I do not want to do yoga. Those are probably the days I most need it. And when I do it day after day, bring myself to the mat, I bring the yoga into my life. When I forget about the mat, I forget about the yoga in my life. But coming back each day reignites that fire, clears away the feeling that I'm too tired, too sore, or have too much else to do.

Being a lawyer is no different. Many lawyers got into the business to do some good. And some days it can seem like the same old routine, one day after the next reviewing documents, writing motions, sitting in a windowless office. But then that hard work pays off - and I do not mean only financially. Some lawyers are lucky enough to change the world with new legal theories. But not everyone gets to participate in cases like Brown v. Board of Education and Roe v. Wade. Instead, lawyers help individuals, everyday. When we remember that, all the junk is cleared away, and the goal remains - be of service.

So tapas reminds us how to clear our minds of the distractions that keep us from our work, our practice. When that fire is lit, we can concentrate, and that is when the lawyer finds the "smoking gun" and the yogi gets into a handstand (still working on that one here). Merriam Webster just does not do tapas justice because it is not the ascetic life we seek, but one where we are not distracted and discouraged by that which surrounds us. Tapas reminds us that there is more to be found than what we see on the surface, and that is something we can take into every aspect of our lives.

So, here I am clearing away my distractions of the last few weeks. That fire has been lit again, and I'm so grateful to be able to be back on here, sharing a journey and learning from all of you. I have some big ideas in the works, and I cannot wait to share them, but that is for another day. I know that it will be the tapas that will guide me. 

How can you bring tapas into your life? What really matters for you? What do you need to clear away to find your internal fire? May that internal fire be lit for you, providing you with the motivation and dedication to find yourself at your best, whether in the law, on the mat, or wherever you are in your life. 

Namaste and Blessings!

Is your being content?

Santosha, the second niyama, means contentment. Contentment is different than happiness. It does not preclude happiness, but contentment is more a state of being than a state of mind. States of mind come and go (believe me, I go through hundreds of them per day). States of being, on the other hand, create space and a foundation for our everyday lives. A solid foundation gives us the space to accept all the states of mind and body that enter our lives without completely throwing us off kilter.

Santosha, for me, relates to beginner's mind because both create space for all possibilities to arise. Many judges like to hire new law clerks every year; many of them say it is because they like to have the fresh perspective. A newly-minted law school graduate is similar to the Psych 101 student who tries to diagnose everyone over Thanksgiving vacation. We have answers for everything, yet we truly know almost nothing about the law and how it works every day. That is our greatest strength (at least in my opinion), when we get past our gut reactions based on what we learned in law school. Socrates said that he knew absolutely nothing. He would have discussions with people, and from those discussions, his teachings arose. It was this clearing of the mind, acceptance that we cannot claim to truly know anything, that made him so great. His teachings remain the bedrocks of western civilization.

I had a slip-up recently where I thought I knew more than I did. I know a little bit more than nothing about certain things in the law (not many). At work, we were dealing with one of them. I got way ahead of myself, and sort of made myself look a bit dumb for having missed the obvious. So, I went back and read a little more, came back to beginner's mind, and the final product was far better than my gut reaction. But I had to go back to the beginning. Too often, lawyers become "experts" in a field and never go back to see what has changed. If we miss something early in our careers, it's gone forever. I'm never surprised when students representing clients change the legal landscape at the Supreme Court. Not only are they open to all the possibilities, but they have nothing to lose. That's the beginner's mind state of being, the reason judges like to have us around, even when we may ask very simple questions. We are open to either side being "right," so we look at both sides equally.

My first yoga teaching experience focused on foundations and new beginnings. Not only was I a beginner, but there were people in the class who had never before stepped on a yoga mat. There were also people in the class with longstanding yoga experience. I was actually more worried about them; would they think the class was too easy? Too simple? Too basic? Nope - they gave me great feedback, and it was because they were grateful to be able to be in that space again. We too often forget the basics and try to stick our legs behind our heads without grounding through the feet. That's when we hurt ourselves. Going back to the basics, back to our foundation, reminds us where we started.

So, what does all of this have to do with contentment? Should we be content never advancing? Sitting on our couch all day? Not necessarily. Contentment is that foundation. When our basic state of being is contentment, we can try new adventures, and if they do not meet our full expectations, we are still content, we still have our foundation. If our adventures go above and beyond our expectations, that feeling eventually wears off. If our foundational state of being is contentment, we protect ourselves from the sugar-like crash after our exciting high. Instead of expecting particular results in life, we are content with whatever happens. 

I had quite a reminder of this today. My garbage disposal broke again (this makes three times). I called and was promised that it would be fixed today. I got home, and it was not fixed. My first reaction was to be really, really upset. I went and talked to the the apartment manager who apologized profusely - she had put the wrong apartment number on the work order. Interestingly, the guy whose apartment number she wrote had the same garbage disposal issue. Go figure. I guess he needed it more than me. I remembered santosha, and while I'm still bummed that I cannot do my dishes because my sink is clogged, I know that in the grand scheme of life it does not matter. Plus, this was the result of a mistake - what if people did not understand when I make mistakes? I am, after all, a beginner, in law, in yoga teaching, in so many areas.

Santosha, as a teaching, provides us the same space and opportunities as beginner's mind. We strive to be our best, whatever that means, and we accept that whatever happens, happens. With that mindset, my first yoga teaching experience was great. I made mistakes, of course. But I had a great time, and from what people have said, they also enjoyed the class. So, whether I'm researching the law or teaching yoga, learning to focus on santosha, coming back to that state of being has helped calm my states of mind. By no means do I not get excited when "good" things happen, or upset when "bad" things happen. Instead, santosha helps us waver less and know that we can remain content, with an open mind to new possibilities, no matter what life throws at us. 

Wishing you all a feeling of santosha.

Namaste and Blessings!

Saucha - A pure personal path

Tomorrow I teach my first yoga class. I am excited and nervous and not sure what to expect. But one thing is for sure - tomorrow I must find my own voice. Tomorrow, my path takes root, and all of this study becomes personal. I have been thinking about this a lot lately, and it is a perfect segue into beginning a discussion about the niyamas, the second limb of yoga.

The five yamas, which I have previously discussed, are a guide for how to interact with others. They are ahimsa (nonviolence), satya (truthfulness), asteya (non-stealing), bramacharya (moderation of the senses), and aparigraha (non-possessiveness). The niyamas, by contrast, are guideposts for how to interact with ourselves. The five niyamas are: aaucha (purity), santosha (contentment), tapas (austerity), svadhyaya (self-study), and ishvarapranidhana (self-surrender). 

Saucha means purity. We must be internally pure before going forward on the rest of the path. In Ayurvedic medicine (ancient Indian medicine), this means cleaning the insides of the body, including the nose (neti pot), the eyes, etc. These are daily rituals, providing physical purity prior to spiritual purity. The idea of purity being the first step to personal spirituality is not unique to yoga. Jewish women participate in a mikvah, a ritual bath, each month, and native american cultures use sweat lodges. But why is it so important?

Only when we are clean, both internally and externally, can we begin to move forward. It allows us to shed all the gunk that is stopping us from moving forward. It is why people do spring cleaning - at the time of rebirth, we crave cleaning out the old. Snakes and birds shed and molt in order to prepare for moving forward. And the great Phoenix literally burns to ashes and is reborn from them. There is no doubt in my mind that this shedding, this cleansing, this purification is vital to being able to take the next step, to move forward on the path. 

Spiritual purification also allows us to find our own path. For much of my life I have taken as gospel whatever people say (though I tend to be argumentative, I have a need to agree, be taught by those I believe are "more advanced" than I am). When I read a book, I agree with it. Why? Because it sounds right. When I read legal briefs and arguments, I often find both sides equally convincing. I am certainly able to determine which is "more right," but it is more agreeable to, well agree. When it comes to my teachers, whether as a child, in law school, in yoga, or just in life, I want to absorb all that they have to say. Without often questioning, I just accept, and when teachings conflict, I get confused. These past few years, but more powerfully these past few months, I have been questioning my teachers more and more. I have read and disagreed the first time through. I have pushed back with my own thoughts. And I have been lost and confused. It's scary to begin to disagree with your teachers. It's scary to not know which argument is right. The Buddha said that we should not believe him because he says so, but we should try out his teachings and decide for ourselves. 

I have finally begun to find my own path. What it took was clearing out the old gunk - in this case, other peoples' journeys and paths and ideas. I have learned from them, and will continue to learn from them, but they need not define me. At some point, I had to find my own way. This is, after all, the greatest thing about being a Westerner in the 21st century. We have access to literally thousands of paths, ideas, and ways of seeing the world. There is no forced dogma on how we must live our lives. Instead, we can take a little Jesus, mix him with some Buddha, and top it off with some Islam, all with the background of Judaism. Why not? We can learn from them all. This is both amazing and scary. What do we do with all the information we obtain? How do we reconcile it? This is where purity comes in.

We have to be pure and open in order to accept that which will make us strong and let go of that which makes us weak. A teaching may not speak to us, and that is okay. Our inner purity gives us the strength and courage to know how to do what is right for ourselves. The greatest example of this happened to me in a law firm. I was once asked to do something with which I did not agree for ethical reasons. I wrote a memo to the two most senior female partners at the firm telling them I could not finish the assignment as they had asked me to do it. I thought I could lose my job. Instead, they clarified, gave me more information, and everything worked out perfectly. Purity is important wherever you are - from a law firm to a yoga mat. Your own path, your own strength guide you in each moment of your life. 

Tomorrow's first class is the moment where I test that purity for the first time on the mat - sharing my story with others. I have to follow my own path. Tomorrow is the day I begin to share it more personally (as opposed to sitting in my living room writing about it). I am so grateful, everyday, for the amazing teachers who have helped get me here. I know that as I venture out, I will be coming back more and more. But these past few months have given me the strength to do the venturing, to find my own voice, and to begin to share it. This is just the beginning. Purification is a daily ritual. 

Thank you for being a part of the learning. Of course, I have learned more from your comments than anything I have written. Most importantly, I have been reminded that we are all in this together; we can help each other clear out the old gunk, throw ideas around, and find that which speaks most truly to us. Thank you.

Namaste and Blessings.