Do you know what's coming?

"If you can see your path laid out in front of you step by step, you know it's not your path." -- Joseph Campbell 
Lawyers like to know what is coming. Jobs that students take after their second year in law school often remain homes for years, if not an entire career. Interviews for judicial clerkships are in September for jobs beginning the following August. In interview preparation, we are coached to ask what the partnership track is for a law firm - often 7-8 years. Salaries and bonuses are posted on national websites for all to see. In other words, lawyers do not like to take chances.

Then why does the average lawyer today change jobs 5 times in his career? Why does the average lawyer leave his first job within three years? Why are so many judges people that have done both criminal and civil litigation? Certainly, part of the answer is the economy. When there are fewer jobs, people move around more. But the bigger answer, I think, is that lawyers are wising up to the importance of not knowing what tomorrow will bring. While scary, there is a certain feeling of anticipation and excitement that such an opportunity creates.

The law is about providing answers. We look to the past, see old cases and statutes, and we decide, based on that, how the case before us should resolve. Yes, I mean resolve. Because, at the end of the day, there is a resolution. One side "wins," and the other side often goes home empty-handed. In complex civil litigation, juries are often asked to determine how much at fault each party is and then calculate to the penny how much each party should be awarded. Some cases take years, but what each step will be is usually easy to determine. 

But we all know that real life is not like that. Life throws us for loops all the time. We can plan out every minute for the next thirty years, but tomorrow, we could be without a job, our best friend could die, or we could be hit by a bus. Of course, tomorrow, we could win the lottery (only if you play), meet a new best friend, or discover that someone we love is pregnant. In other words, life changes. Lawyers, like all of us, must learn to navigate those changes, and the first step is accepting that we cannot determine how life will proceed tomorrow, let alone next year.

This is why I love the Joseph Campbell quote so much. His point is that you can think you know what tomorrow, and the rest of your life, will bring, but you will be wrong, no matter what. Even Yoda said that the future is difficult to determine - always changing. (Now is probably as good a time as any to out myself as a super Star Wars geek. I will try to spare this blog from that, but sporadic Yoda quotes will prevail, I'm sure.) 

Yoga provides us the tools to confront these changes. Yoga is the reminder that our true nature does not change, even if we move across the world, change jobs, or start a new family. I have been lucky to travel the world, and live in various places for long enough for people to get to know me. What I find is that while my outward way of being has changed (I used to make Mac-and-Cheese with a friend everyday after school, and now I'm a health nut, and I used to be a percussionist prepared to study music in college, but now I'm a lawyer-yogi), people tend to react to me the same way. I hear the same things about me from people I met in France to people from Michigan and Arizona, to my friends growing up in California. This includes that which I like about myself and that which drives me nuts about myself. 

When I was growing up, many people told me I would be a lawyer. I said it would never happen. Ooops. And guess what? I'm proud of it! When I did not get the "good" jobs my third year in law school, I was upset. Then I got the best job I could have ever asked for, followed by a second amazing job, and together they gave me the time and opportunity to apply for a Fulbright and get my yoga teacher certification, neither of which are traditional plans for post-law school. I certainly could not have told anyone at the beginning of law school that I would be moving to New Zealand for ten months and teaching yoga during my lunch hour at work.

So, we can plan all we want. We can think we know what tomorrow will bring, but we waste our energy. The legal community is slowly shifting towards a system of change, of breaking the status quo, and being okay with not knowing. Yoga teaches us to always come back to our breath, whether sitting in meditation or doing a hot yoga practice (which I do not actually practice, unless you consider Phoenix hot yoga). The breath never changes. Our essence never changes, no matter how much the external forces try to change us. We can work to better ourselves and society, but the point is that there is nothing these external forces can take from us, only give us more opportunities for growth.

The funny thing is that I learned the same thing in law school. We are taught over and over again in school that it is perfectly acceptable, even honorable, to answer a client's question with four simple words, "I do not know." Of course, those words should be followed with, "let me look into it and get back to you." That openness to the unknown is a step toward the freedom that yoga can provide as well as the recognition that when we do not know, there is always an opportunity to learn. .

Namaste and Blessings!

What's the role of the teacher?

Tomorrow I teach my first class in a yoga studio. Unlike the other few classes I have taught, I will not know anything about the people in the class (unless, of course, my brother shows up). At the conference a few weeks ago, even though I did not know all the students, I knew their professions, and I could weave the theme of the classes with the conference, with our work in family law; though not everyone there was a lawyer, all participants in the conference work in the family law field in some respect. During my teacher training, I actually knew all the people in my practicums. They were friends and family.  

Today, my legal boss asked me whether I have to prepare for tomorrow, whether there is one set class I teach every time. My answer was no, I teach different classes, but I told her that I hoped to do a variation on a theme I used at the conference. Then tonight I went to a class as a participant, and I realized that I have to give something more. I came home and started thinking about what I want to convey as a teacher . . . to the general public. 

While this blog, and my goals in teaching yoga, focus on bringing yoga to professionals, lawyers specifically, I know that in a general class, I have to branch out. No everyone needs a class geared toward sitting at a computer and resolving conflict. So, what is the bigger theme? What is it that really drives me to teach? What do I want to convey as a theme?

I have been reading a lot about the history of yoga, from the Yoga Sutras themselves, to the Bhagavad Gita, to modern collections and criticisms of these works. I have been focusing on the divergent path that yoga and Buddhism have taken, yet how they are similar. By no means have I even nicked the surface of all the literature out there, but I see a general theme, and I realize that it is going to be my inspiration tomorrow.

Buddhism teaches that there are four noble truths, the first of which is that suffering exists. Yes, it is that simple - suffering exists in this world. The good news is that Buddhism also teaches that there is a path to overcome this suffering. The next three truths are: 2) Desire is the root of suffering, 3) There is an end to suffering, which is nirvana, and 4) There is a path to reach that end. Yoga and Buddhism are most similar in that they teach us the ways to overcome this suffering that inevitably exists. (This is a very, very basic overview of these topics, which I hope to explore in more detail in the days and weeks to come, but for today's theme, they are sufficient.)

When I walk around at work, I see this suffering. I see people hunched over computers. I see people withdrawn, shoulders pulled forward, blocking their hearts from opening, and I see peoples' physical pain. Of course, I also see these same issues in the general populace. Without a doubt, I also see joy, happiness, openness, etc. But when I see people in pain, whether it is physical, emotional, or spiritual, I want to offer some guidance. Already people ask me for ideas on how to "fix" their physical pain. I want to be able to help.

So, reflecting on all of this - the fact that suffering will exist, the fact that I want to make it better, and the fact that yoga/Buddhism offer a path out of that suffering - I have found the voice with which I want to speak as a teacher. I want to provide people the space to find their own inner teacher, their own ability to find the path that works for them to break free of their suffering. That is what yoga has given me. Some days, I feel like it is working great. Other days, I suffer. But I know that deep inside, I have the ability to move beyond the suffering; I know that the suffering will pass. And that is what I want to share tomorrow. I want to help people open up to see their own perfect selves that are within each and every one of us. 

Thank you for continuing to share this journey with me. As I said, these next few weeks, I hope to explore these issues more indepth, but please share with me, and each other, how yoga has helped you see the inner beauty, helped you break free for some suffering. After all, the greatest gift that yoga can give us is the ability to better connect with each other.

Namaste and Blessings!

© Copyright 2010. Rebecca Stahl.

Opening to Grace

There is no other word to describe the conference I recently attended. Wow just seems to embrace it all. It was so amazing that it has taken me a week to recover and sit down to write this. It was not until today that I had the framework for connecting what I learned there to this blog. The conference was the Association of Family and Conciliation Courts conference. AFCC is an international, interdisciplinary organization of family law professionals, whose vision is to "[a] justice system in which all professionals work collaboratively through education, support, and access to services to achieve the best possible outcome for children and families." In other words, every member has similar goals as I do with respect to family law.

Before I get to the specifics of why the conference was so great, let me explain the title of this post - Opening to Grace. There are many, many styles of yoga being taught in the western world today. Anusara yoga, created by John Friend, is the style my teacher training teacher learned. One of its main tenets is opening to Grace. But what is Grace? This morning I was reading a book by Doug Keller called, "Heart of the Yogi," which defines Grace "as the self-revelation of the Self . . . . Thus being 'open' to this revelation through grace is part and parcel of yoga." In other words, Grace means opening up to the world as it happens, as the Universe wants, and not being caught in trying to force a particular outcome. 

When I first sat down to write this post, I called it "Wow." I had no other words. But today I realize that the conference was an experience in Grace. It was my lawyer-proof for a yoga concept. So, what happened?

• I met a professor at a university in New Zealand where I will be studying for five months in July 2011. Not only did she provide me with interesting information about skiing in the area (I have never been skiing in my life, but I am determined to try it out), she is one of the preeminent researchers in the area of family law and told me we can work together while I am there.

• I had breakfast with the Chief Justice of the Australia family court who invited me to Australia to study her newly-created court system, and I met another handful of Australians who are working to make changes in the family law system outside the courts. In other words, I met a sampling of the entire holistic system being created in Australia.

• I taught my own workshop, and it was very well received. In the past, I have taught, and I have gotten, at best, lukewarm feedback, sometimes awful. This one was nothing but great feedback. I will disclose that this presentation was about technology, and I'm 28. I think, for the first time, my age was beneficial and not detrimental.

• I met a woman from Ireland who is on her own mission to change the family courts there and make them more transparent, and she wants to collaborate our research, so we can think about creating a framework for countries and states and counties to follow when creating their family courts. 

• I helped set up a mentorship program to bring new blood into AFCC. We had no idea what to expect, and we had such a wonderful turnout. Everyone wanted to give back. 

• I met amazing people from down the street in Arizona to Pennsylvania to Australia, New Zealand, Sweden, Israel, and Canada. I saw old friends/colleagues who inspire me and teach me every time I see them.

• And I taught yoga. Yes, I'm saving the best for last. I was on the schedule to teach 2, 45-minute classes. The first day, the class was so big, we had to find a bigger room. The second day, they asked for a third day. The third day, I nearly cried. 

Teaching those yoga classes was really my first time teaching people I did not know. I used the conference as the basis of my themes for the three days, and for the most part, found a way to combine the two. It was this blog in action. It was my future in action. And interestingly, I was so tired that it was not a conscious effort. I had to open up to Grace, open up to that which guides us, because I had no physical strength left. Physically, these conferences are exhausting. Emotionally, professionally, even spiritually, they are uplifting and amazing.

I have had a lot of experiences over these past few months/years where I recognize that I am going with the flow, working with, not against, the Universe. For four days in Denver, I completely stepped into that role. There was no way to try to force anything. It was just like being back in the percussion pit where you do not have time to think - if you think, you miss a note. Instead, you let go and let the music play you. This time, years later, I let the Universe play, and I had the most incredible four days of my life. 

I left that conference knowing, deep down, what I am going to do for the four months between when my current job ends and when I leave for New Zealand. I am going to teach yoga workshops to legal professionals, whether they be lawyers, psychologists in the legal field, mediators, social workers, or anyone else connected with the law. While I am scared to be rejected, have no idea how to advertise, and have no idea where to start, I know this is my work. Now it is in writing. Now I must open to Grace for the next step.

Namaste and Blessings!

(c) Rebecca Stahl 2010

A large community of energy

I have written before about why I think yoga classes, as opposed to a personal practice, are so powerful -- the community of energy. I have also spent much of my writing on this blog about what yoga has taught me about the law. Today, I want to throw that around to what the law has taught me about yoga. I have been incredibly lucky to be a member of the Association of Family and Conciliation Courts (AFCC) for the last five years - since my first year in law school. Suffice it to say that this organization is the reason I am interested in family law and the reason I want to help make family courts better suited for children and families.

 

AFCC holds an annual conference, which begins today, and I will be attending for the third time. I could not be more excited. Sure, I'm excited about presenting. I'm also excited about teaching yoga two mornings. Mostly, however, I'm excited about what it means to attend a conference of nearly 1,000 people all committed to the same goal: helping families transition through divorce. My dad has been a member of AFCC since I was a child, and I never quite understood why. But as I became involved because of a desire to give children a voice in the legal process, I found a family and inspiration beyond my wildest imagination.

Being part of an organization like AFCC has helped me find others who are like-minded, who believe that there is a better way than a divorce model set up based on a system designed for breaches of contract. But that is not what makes AFCC so special. It is the energy. Each year, I hear people say they love attending these conferences because they become inspired - not only by the new ideas being presented, but by the energy of all the other conference attendees. For three days, there is an energy of hope among a field of professionals who spend their day-to-day lives dealing with some of the most emotional and distressing areas of the law. But when we are together, when we believe in that change, in giving families tools to aid their transition, those changes become a reality.

On a personal note, it was at an AFCC conference two years ago that a judge in Australia sparked an idea in me to travel to Australia and New Zealand to study their new family law systems. It was last year at the AFCC conference that a judge in New Zealand made me think it was possible. And next year, I will sadly be missing the AFCC conference while I study family law in New Zealand. That's how a community of energy works. It makes dreams possible even in a field that so many believe devoid of that communal energy.

So what happens when you get thousands of yogis together? I do not actually know. 

I have wanted to attend a large yoga retreat for years now, but it has never happened. What I do know is that one of the most powerful experiences I have ever had was at a Deva Premal / Krishna Das concert where there were probably 300-500 people present. The energy of that many people chanting and singing together moved me to tears. There are many much larger concerts, retreats, and workshops dedicated to yoga and chanting. I have always wanted to attend, but somehow it has never happened. 

AFCC conferences make me feel as though I can take on the world. I know how I will feel at the end of these conferences - empowered (and tired, but that is another story). So, I hope this is where my legal life informs my yoga life. I hope that the inspiration I draw from these huge legal conferences provides me the courage to attend the yoga conferences. The difference here is that I had a ready-made family because of my own father being in this organization. I have no such starting point in the yoga world, but I am going to use what I have learned over the years at AFCC to venture out and find that yoga family. 

When we all come together, anything is possible. Our collective energy is inspiring, empowering, and exciting. What are your stories of powerful groups creating change? I would love to hear about them in the comments.

Namaste and Blessings!

A coffee shop interview

There are tons of differences between the life of a yogi and the life of a lawyer. But there is one I just had not thought about until recently. I had my first interview for a yoga substitution list. We met at a coffee shop. Of course, it was a local place that is part of the new downtown Phoenix. I thought nothing of it . . . until I was talking to someone from the law school. In passing, I said, "I just had an interview at the coffee shop by the market." (We were talking about the market.) Her mouth just dropped.

I had to think about it for a moment, and then I realized she thought I meant that I had a legal interview at a coffee shop. I laughed and told her that it was for a yoga studio. She smiled and seemed to say, "that's okay then." 

For some reason I have been thinking a lot about that discussion. That coffee shop interview was one of the best interviews I have ever had, and during three years of law school, I had a lot of interviews (not so many offers). There is no way to put it nicely; interviews are awkward. During law school, we go through a process called On Campus Interviews (OCI) where the students sit in a waiting room waiting to be called back into the small rooms where interviewers sit for 8 hours interviewing students every 20 minutes. I have heard it likened to speed dating and waiting in a doctors' office - neither an ideal situation for deciding where you could potentially spend your professional life.

Interviews at a law firm are only slightly better. After trying to decide whether to accept the bottle of water being offered (cumbersome to carry but necessary to keep the mouth from drying out), the interviewee is shuttled from one office to the next, forced to interrupt people who would rather be billing time. A plastic smile on both sides, and no one is quite sure who is trying to impress whom. The interviewers have the leg up because it is their turf, but most of them are not experienced at interviewing people. That seems to have been my law firm interview experience.

What a relief, then, to have a yoga interview. First, we were on neutral territory, a coffee shop. There was no need to comment about how cute the partner's family looked on the beach in Hawaii. Second, we both had drinks, and it was expected. We could start by joking about caffeine in the afternoon. But most importantly, we interacted and learned about each other. From discussions of whether to teach yoga in a gym to what the owner likes the classes at his studio to cover, I got to understand the person with whom I was speaking. And she got to know me as well. In addition to the location, we also spent nearly 2 hours chatting.

I realize that no lawyer has two hours to spend interviewing. Instead, we sell ourselves on grades and law review. We are taught what to wear at interviews and given canned questions to ask in order to look interested. Sometimes we are, but rarely in all my interviews did I meet the real person. I met drones. That is certainly not true of all my interviews, but there was something special about the coffee shop. It felt like I was reentering the world. 

Certainly, lawyers can learn from yoga how to breathe deeply, how to de-stress, how to live a more mindful life, etc. But perhaps a good place to start is with a coffee shop interview. What can we learn from each other in such a space? Interviews are, after all, about getting to know the person when everyone seems so similar on paper. Even I laughed at the notion of a law interview in a coffee shop when the woman from the law school expressed such shock at my interview locale. Perhaps, however, that is exactly what is needed. Speed dating is, after all, a lot more pleasant with a nice Iced Coffee than in a cramped room somewhere on a university campus. I think I would actually look forward to interviews if they all occurred over a cup of coffee and conversation.

Namaste and Blessings!

Integrity

When asked to describe lawyers in one word, I would argue that few people would choose the word integrity. For all the media portrayal of lawyers, I have found that many, if not most, lawyers, however, practice law with integrity. They must. If I have learned one thing these past five years among lawyers (from the beginning of law school until now), it is that your reputation precedes you. As I mentioned in my last post, yoga is different than exercise and breathing because of the intention we bring to the practice. Another word for intention is integrity.

In yoga, a posture not practiced with integrity can cause physical harm. Instead of the benefits of the postures, we can actually pull muscles and turn joints out of whack. But what does integrity mean in yoga? How does it translate to the law? Physically, integrity means creating a solid foundation in a posture. When we are strong in our core, in our foundation, we have integrity, and the rest of the body relaxes into the pose. Let me repeat that, when we practice with integrity, the practice can be relaxing, even if strenuous. This is what creates the benefit in the physical yoga practice. Integrity in a posture creates the physical environment for safety, strength, and yes, relaxation.

In law, integrity serves the same purpose - a solid foundation. When our actions are done with integrity, people notice. Even if we make mistakes, if we act with integrity, the mistakes tend to go away faster. When we act with integrity, we need not question each action because our foundation is strong. With a strong foundation, we can move forward in our practice with more ease.

Once Justice Stevens announced his retirement, just weeks before his 90th birthday, the web erupted with stories of his time on the bench. I have read several articles about him, but the one word that comes up again and again is integrity. Here is what President Obama had to say about Justice Stevens: "When President Ford was faced with a Supreme Court vacancy shortly after the nation was still recovering from the Watergate scandal, he wanted a nominee who was brilliant, non-ideological, pragmatic, and committed above all to justice, integrity, and the rule of law.  He found that nominee in John Paul Stevens." Justice and rule of law go hand-in-hand with being a lawyer, but integrity is what makes a lawyer great. 

Integrity is not easy. It takes constant vigilance. Sometimes, despite our best efforts, our back leg droops in standing postures, and we tweak a knee. Sometimes, despite our best efforts, we misinterpret the law and make a mistake in citations. Sometimes, despite our best efforts, we scowl at the grocery store clerk instead of smiling. But each time we act with integrity, we get stronger. Each time we make a conscious decision, the next time becomes that much easier.

Integrity is (yes, I'm going to say it), integral to a yoga practice. Without it, we cause harm. As we learn to cultivate integrity in our asanas and our pranayama (breathing), we learn to cultivate integrity in our lives. As Justice Stevens and President Obama have proven, there can be no higher calling for a lawyer. 

Namaste and Blessings!

Why Yoga?

This blog is about yoga and professionals, about yoga and lawyers. But why yoga? What is so special about yoga? For the physical benefits, could we not just do stretching and walk? How is a yoga breath different than a regular breath? Is yoga a religion? These are questions I hear often, and of course they are valid. And the answer is much simpler than even I would have once imagined. 

Intention.

Yup, just one word. Yoga is about bringing intention to our movements, our breath, and our actions. Many yoga classes, in my opinion the best ones, begin by setting an intention. The intention can be anything, from a desire to be more flexible, to a desire to have the strength to traverse difficult life events. But setting the intention sets the yoga practice apart from stretching and other forms of exercise. It is what we learn from setting this intention that allows us to take yoga off the mat. 

I do not like that phrase, "taking yoga off the mat." It automatically assumes that doing yoga anywhere, whether asana or pranayama or following the yamas and niyamas, is out of the ordinary. But if we start from the notion that yoga is about intention, it begins in our lives, and the mat is nothing more than a space where we are less likely to slip, literally and figuratively. As it is oft-noted, yoga is much easier in an ashram than it is on the streets of Phoenix or in a courtroom. 

But we can bring our intentions to every aspect of our lives, and we can bring our mats to any location. Today was a big day for me; it was the first time that I taught yoga to professionals in a meeting room. We moved a table, set up some mats, and did a practice. Even though most of us were on mats, it was not a traditional place for yoga. Nope, the rest of the day that room was filled with discussions about family law. But for 60 minutes, the intention was different. At the risk of stating the obvious, this was not a traditional yoga physicality, it was bringing yoga into the world, which we usually explain by taking yoga off the mat, but instead we used our mats in a new environment. I did not start this blog to write a blog; I started this blog to start a discussion about how yoga can help professionals, especially those in the legal field, but certainly not limited to them. Today's class was the first expression of that intention. 

What does intention mean to our everyday lives? Well, everything. We can bring intention to brushing our teeth the same way we can bring it to a legal argument, the same way we can bring it to an asana practice. When we start exploring our intention for our actions, we are forced to examine whether they are serving us or not. We are able to stop, even momentarily, and think. That is a luxury in this information-laden, nonstop culture. Where 140-character twitter updates dominate our lives, we can throw out random thoughts with little thought of their consequences. It is easy not to take people seriously with nonstop information.

I find, however, that when I bring intention to my actions and my words, people respond with more respect and understanding, even if we disagree. And I personally think it is because the people with whom we interact recognize our intention as a sign of respect. It is worth your time to stop and think before just shoving more information at them for no reason. Intention permeates our being and becomes a deep aspect of who we are. Intention to treat the opposing litigants with respect and dignity goes far in the law, and can often lead to agreements. Not always, I realize that. We cannot control how others react and/or respond to our actions. But we can control our intentions. And far more than the specific actions we take, our intentions shine through. They are reflected in the non-verbal aspects of our communication where most of our communication occurs.

And yes, we can learn this intention on the yoga mat. And yes, we can take it off the mat. But why draw the line? Each moment of our lives is deserving of intention, whatever that intention is, mat or no mat, yoga studio or conference center. When our intentions are pure (meaning not diluted, not pure vs. bad in some way), we tend to receive that which we need in life, whether it is a deeper forward fold or a trip to New Zealand. This idea of intention is, for me, what sets yoga apart from all other experiences and what allows it to be so useful in our daily lives. Because we can bring intention to every moment, we can do yoga at any moment. Intention is not about what religion you practice or how flexible you are; it is about living each moment with a purpose.

Namaste and Blessings!