One of the most common statements I hear from people who go to yoga is, "I just feel so relaxed." Unfortunately, other common statements I hear from many people is, "I just don't know how to relax" or "I can never seem to relax no matter how hard I try."
One of the toughest asana lessons to fully comprehend, on
the deepest levels, is that it is possible to relax in a posture even when it
feels like every muscle is going to give out. That is another yoga paradox.
It is a nice lesson for off the mat as well. We learn to find the calm amidst
the storm. Thus, from deep breathing and restorative poses to intense
and energetic asana, yoga is about finding the relaxation deep within us. And
it is there for all of us. The difficulty is finding it.
How many times have you tried to relax and simply could not?
Right now, do a quick body scan. Where are you holding tension? Your jaw? Your
eyes? Your neck? Your shoulders? Are you able to
relax those areas holding the tension?
Our modern world does not provide us the tools to learn how
to relax. It does, however, provide us the tools to know how to be stressed
out. We are expected to go, go, go, and when we finally stop, we are too
exhausted to relax. We simply collapse. The tension continues, and headaches,
low back pain, and bad knees result. We cover these aches and pains with
medication hoping they will go away until the day the pain becomes so
unbearable we have to decide between going over the daily dosage for a pill and
actually learning to relax.
It sounds kind of funny, does it not? Learning to relax?
Should we not already know how to relax? Is it not part of who we are? I think
many of us have forgotten. It took me years of yoga practice before I could
finally find moments of relaxation, and there are days, sometimes weeks, when I
feel that I can no longer find it – even while practicing yoga.
What does it mean to truly relax?
It means more than sitting in front of the tv and vegging
out. It means more than stalking people on facebook. It even means more than
sleeping. Relaxing, paradoxically, is something we have to take time to do. It
has to be done with intention. It is a time when we let our tense muscles
release, our thoughts slow down, or at least no longer control us, and our
bodies rejuvenate.
Restorative yoga is not designed to put us to sleep. It is
actually designed to wake us up. Restorative yoga, like all relaxation
practices, is designed to allow our bodies to come down from the constant
fight-or-flight response and heal from the over abundance of adrenaline and
cortisol. When we fall asleep, it is less a sign of deep relaxation than a sign
of overwhelm.
So how do we train ourselves to relax again? It takes some
time, but it can be done. We learn to pay attention. When we find ourselves
reaching for the painkillers, take a moment and ask if it is possible to relax
the muscles causing the pain. Sometimes just bringing awareness to the tension
and consciously breathing into it will release it enough to decrease the pain.
Sometimes we need to take a walk in nature or sit by the pool or sit on a yoga
mat.
But we need to take time to relax. To truly relax. And of
course, the days when it seems most difficult are the days we need it the most.
There have been many times I have wanted to just sit in front of my computer (I
do not have a television) and read facebook posts, but my entire being drags me
to my mat. Those are usually the most deeply gratifying practices of them all.
And sometimes they only last ten minutes, but those ten minutes of conscious
relaxation are worth hours of productivity and health down the road.
The more moments like those we add to our lives, the easier it is to remember how to relax. It may take some time, but it is within each of us.
The more moments like those we add to our lives, the easier it is to remember how to relax. It may take some time, but it is within each of us.
Do you remember how to relax? What are your tools? Where do
you hold your tension?
Namaste!
©
Rebecca Stahl 2012, all rights reserved.
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