This post has been percolating in my mind for months. But
this is gratitude month, and it is time to finally write it out in full. I have
tried to write it numerous times, but it just sits on my computer, awaiting the
words that never come. But the universe has sent enough my way that the words
are ready to flow.
We all have our “difficult” teachers. They come in many
forms. They are the people and experiences that test our practice. They are the
people that pull us out of a reflective mentality into clenched fists and anger
spouting. They are the people at work who gossip about us behind our backs, our
friends who betray us, and our family who is just so close they know how to
push all our buttons.
Usually our difficult teachers are people who know us best.
While there is a lot to be gained while practicing deep breathing while driving
and not getting mad at the people who cut us off, the real practice is sitting
with the people we see all the time when they have done something we do not
like. The practice is learning to engage with them. And it is also learning to
see our experiences and our pain in new ways.
The question is, how do we learn to be grateful for these
people and experiences and learn what we need from them?
The first iteration of an attempt at this post was a post
called, “When
the Body Does Not Behave.” But what I left out of that post was the
underlying truth. I am, and have been for several months, in physical pain. And
this is different than my
hamstring injury during teacher training. This is ongoing pain. It is pain
that interferes with doing yoga. It interferes with teaching yoga. It
interferes with a lot of things, actually. It has become my teacher.
Living in the world takes some give and take. America just
had a major election, and since Tuesday, my facebook feed has been full of
people lamenting the anger and vitriol that remains post-election. Social media
is an interesting experiment. Perhaps we say things there we would not say
directly to a person, but we are willing to just spew whatever comes to our
minds. But the people with whom we share it are ostensibly our friends.
Apparently a lot of my friends have unfriended others, or been unfriended,
because of their political leanings. It sounds trite to mention facebook, and I
feel a bit silly for doing it, but it is a perfect example of these difficult
teachers.
It is far easier to unfriend a person than face our deepest
selves. But
that is where the beauty lies. It is in those deepest places, when we are
forced to see them, that we are able to connect the most with other people. But
first we have to face the difficult teachers.
And that is not easy. That is why they are difficult. Most
of the time I just get frustrated. All the yoga goes out the window, and I get
annoyed, my breathing gets shallow, and the physical pain gets worse. But this
month, November, I invite you to try something new along with me. I invite you
to find a sense of gratitude in these experiences. They are leading us to
something greater.
It is no easier to deal with an email from opposing counsel
than it is to deal with intense physical pain, but both of these experiences
are opportunities in our lives to stop, reflect, and practice. They are
opportunities to ask ourselves what we could do differently and what we could
learn from one another. It is much easier to be calm and reflective when we are
away from the world. But the truth is that we live in the world, and that means
we face these issues.
One caveat: I have heard a lot of people say that our greatest teachers are those who are the
most difficult in our lives. Until very recently, I sort of blindly agreed with
that statement. Now I see it a bit more nuanced. We need all sorts of teachers,
and difficulty teachers play a significant role in how we interact with
ourselves and one another, but we need supportive and loving teachers as well.
That can be a post for another day, but that is why I did not start this post
with comments about our greatest
teachers being our most difficult. They are necessary, but so are so many
others.
We may not be able to make the difficult situation
disappear, but we can change our reaction to it. And what if we just said thank
you? Thank you for allowing me to see where I still need to work. Thank you for
bringing me closer to my humanity and compassion. Thank you for opening my eyes
and heart to the full extent of the practice.
How are you grateful for difficulty in your life?
Namaste!
©
Rebecca Stahl 2012, all rights reserved.
I just had such an experience: my spouse and I were working together on a project where she was the leader. We scheduled a meeting and talked through how it would go. When we arrived at the meeting 2 weeks later, she decided to do things differently. Well, I lost my cool and embarrassed myself with my behavior. When I was remarking to our minister about it, she replied that this is where the spiritual rubber meets the road. AFTER processing my anger I was actually able to feel my gratitude.
ReplyDeleteYeah, the anger often comes first. Thanks for sharing. I think we all actually need these reminders. All of us.
Deletethis is an insightful post. i'm sorry you have pain and am inspired that you are trying to gain something from it, to grow :)
ReplyDeleteThanks!
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